rexe

....I'm loosing contact with the world, my friends, and my grip on reality...
Don't worry, I'm not in the mood to go jump off a cliff...

I miss my old life, going out somewhere with my friends every weekend. Trying not to fall asleep in German. It seems everyone is fitting in. Why am I not? Everyone seems quite happy without me...

I'm sorry everyone. But life sucks for me right now. I have no friends. Or at least ones I can really call friends. A person who I thought was a friend decided to be a bitch. I feel discluded from everything and everyone. I feel loney all the time. Right now I'm sitting here crying. I miss the summer I miss the spring. Imiss last year. I miss my friends. I miss Kreps so much. I miss walking to Jess's house and raiding her kitchen. I miis complain to Anna about when I would ever et my Inuyasha manga, and Slayers cd back. which I will probably never see again. Non one talks to be anymore. I'm probably moving next year and no one will care...

Oh what am I saying.. I know some of you will care. Some of you will say there's the internet and e-mail. Even though we both know that we won't be able to hold a conversation. Damn it! Theses tears are stinging like hell. I've noticed, I've retreaed and given up. I decided that I'll live my last year here a solitary person. With people not caring a single thing about her. I fucking hate it! At times I wish I could just star my life over. But I can't. ANd I sure as well wouldn't commit suicide. I couldn't take the pain. I still want to find out what happens in my book of life.

I feel so loney...so scared...so tired of life...I hate breaking down all the time. I wish that one peson would offer me their sholder to cry on for at least a minute, adn say ' Fuck this, you wanna go get some chinese food?'

I want to write but I can't get the words out. I want to draw but I can't the eyes right. I want to exceed...but I only fall back.

Major Angst Factor For My Memoirs when I write them.

sometimes I miss living wiht no money and having a friend across the street. But I don't need that friend she betrayed me too many times...

So many did. I've forgotten how to trust, I've been hurt so many times. All I want is a person t come into my life and tell me not to worry. ANd to never lie to me about anything. Of course that could never happen who would want to comfort me? I'm overweight, not pretty, loud, annoying, who cares?

I hate being degraded each day by my grandparents. Getting told I should worlk harder. For the first time in my entire life, I have the highest grade in my Math class. I've had it for several weeks.

I suppose I should stop bitching, no one cares anyway. I doubt anyone is still reading this. Thats the purpose of online journals to tell the truth and you don't have to hear it if you don't want too...

Before people claimed that they would feel replaced by my so-called new friends. The only person seeming replaced is me. I hope everyone is in a better mood then I am...


Your Chaos Lovin' Anarchist,
Steff, Chibi Steff, KAmi, God, God of Cherry Blossoms, Sei-chan, SZM, Endoria,Sailor Endoria, Sailor Zenon, Sailor Zenon Mercury

When the SailorMoon Listbot Group was still around, I used to sigh of like that. I miss them...