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ticked off as usual
God, I feel so left out. Everyone seems to be doing stuff with everyone else. NO one invites me. So I sit here at home all day, bored out of mind. Beyond the point where screencaps of Ewan in The Pillow Book and bring me back.
Am I asking too fucking much? If people hate to hang out with me. I'd like to know! I hate being left in the dark. There's too many barriers around all of us.
I'm happy that I don't have too many problems beyond my own house. I don't have relationship problems becasue I'm not involved wiht anyone. Or even lusting after someone. I'm in a religion that I believe in. I know someone thought I was going in and then coming right back out. I stick with what I believe in. I don't follow trends. I like what I like. I am what I am. I don't enjoy masks! You ALL know that. I hate it when people act so fake. I don't hate them but I want them to come out and show who they are.
Fuck it. No one listens. No one takes what I say to heart. I don't have any special skills, I'm not part of band, I don't have a job, I don't have a crush. I feel like I'm being rejected because of it.
My life at home is horrible. My Mom constantly gripes about money. My grandmother hates me. I'm supposedly selfish, money-hungry, crazy, and stupid. My imidetale family as called me the first two. My uncles and aunt the thrid, and my grandfather the last.
I can't take all this fucking stress. Why do you think I obsess over Ewan?! It gives me a fucking meaning, a fucking purpose.
I have no FUCKING purpose! At least I don't feel like dying. I'd rather live in hell, and try ot do something, then give up and become the earth. Thats a another thing. You can't believe on reincarnation and heaven and hell. I joke about heaven and hell, I don't beleive in them.
Thats it. I needed to get all that shit out of my system. I'm getting pocky.
Am I asking too fucking much? If people hate to hang out with me. I'd like to know! I hate being left in the dark. There's too many barriers around all of us.
I'm happy that I don't have too many problems beyond my own house. I don't have relationship problems becasue I'm not involved wiht anyone. Or even lusting after someone. I'm in a religion that I believe in. I know someone thought I was going in and then coming right back out. I stick with what I believe in. I don't follow trends. I like what I like. I am what I am. I don't enjoy masks! You ALL know that. I hate it when people act so fake. I don't hate them but I want them to come out and show who they are.
Fuck it. No one listens. No one takes what I say to heart. I don't have any special skills, I'm not part of band, I don't have a job, I don't have a crush. I feel like I'm being rejected because of it.
My life at home is horrible. My Mom constantly gripes about money. My grandmother hates me. I'm supposedly selfish, money-hungry, crazy, and stupid. My imidetale family as called me the first two. My uncles and aunt the thrid, and my grandfather the last.
I can't take all this fucking stress. Why do you think I obsess over Ewan?! It gives me a fucking meaning, a fucking purpose.
I have no FUCKING purpose! At least I don't feel like dying. I'd rather live in hell, and try ot do something, then give up and become the earth. Thats a another thing. You can't believe on reincarnation and heaven and hell. I joke about heaven and hell, I don't beleive in them.
Thats it. I needed to get all that shit out of my system. I'm getting pocky.